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"a pokemon game. To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider making a donation. That's right, folks, mass hypnosis via commercials. After all, you're a responsible, intelligent person who apparently has a lot of time on your hands. It must have cost a fortune to feednot to mention the mess. Maybe she just doesn't like goat-smell. So we were already off to a bad start. Physics is so FREAKIN' hard! Or whatever. It just looks weird. Surely you have heard of her? Anyone just randomly typing letters will eventually accidently write a word, right? Oh, well. In return for not taking the easy route, he gains a power in the more or less real world. OH, SO SPLENDID!! You don't know who Squirell is? It's okay. None ever comes here, I could do this all day long and I still wouldn't have any more hits. I HAVE POWERS PINTO BEANS CAN ONLY DREAM OF! Can a senile person write? In the beginning of the movie, Neo is having dreams about Trinity's death. William Faulkner was featured in 1983 Guinness Book of World Records for this 1,288-word sentence from Absalom, Absalom! "Lots of death, lots and lots of death in this section. WE got it at Wal-mart. The sentence below was found in a legal contract, and was until recently the longest sentence we had seen in an official document. YOU WILL NOT SINK MY CHEERIO!! I see you have no reaction to that, do you Hypothetical Reader? This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. It's creepy. No! Too bad. Guess what I wanna do. Those few who actually could think and avoided the sun were considered to be outcasts. I better stop typing before I have a heart attackjust rememberThe Matrix has youI'm back. It doesn't. If you don't like it, start your own longest text ever. this is not a long paragraph it is multiple, I am just not as pretty as my friend Haylee she is fab so give me a chance for this job. Did you understand that? maybe the longest text ever. I worked sorta hard on this. You seeknowledge is good. All because YOU tried to convince me that I was crazy. There is a world where you were never born. So when you kill, or whatever, in the game, you are actually ending life somewhere in the universe. Or maybe I'll go make a frozen pizza. hello, I like to play Fortnite it is a really good game. My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. Okay, now I'm starting to scare myselfI'm gonna quit for today. I thought it was. A copy of "Ulysses" pops up in "Green Coaster," the 33-page, single-sentence . you will all suffer as i have suffered when and if you graduate. The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map the surface of a pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. In a recent article, humorist Dave Barry discussed the addictive quality of the snack food, Cheez-Its. I wonder why anyone would read this? They'll probably just call us weird and laugh at us, but that's beside the point! After all, no one would really care if I quit updating this site. CAT CHOW!!! Well, next time you buy your $3 FREAKIN' dollar bottle of water, consider this. The first use of "had had" is a modifier, and the second instance serves as the main verb of the sentence. Thank-you for your time. Come on everyone, group hug. Make your wife happy by sending her any of these romantic long paragraphs here. Say it. Let's see: 12345! There are now longer sentences in English writing. GeeI wish I'd thought of that sooner. I bet you couldn't tell. 0 . Don't Ignore Sites? I'm back. Of course, when I next saw my Mom, she retold the story to me, several times. Although there are many lengthy monologues and multi-line descriptions in literature, the chapter from American author William Faulkners 1936 novel Absalom, Absalom! I's making fake soundtracks like the teacher told me! Anyway, moving on! A post shared by Worlds Best Story (@worldsbeststory). Wasn't that semi-entertaining? It's a word. OkayI admit it. Soair pressure can be a good thing. You could travel in a straight line at the speed of light for a million years and all you'd prove is that the universe is really, really big. On video games. It's a law, I think. Here goes. He can save mankind, and doom Trinity. Hours of completly useless fun! That's is just so extremly creepy. Then the problem with obesity in America would be blamed on evil food truck drivers as opposed to the harmless, benificient television and computer. Right? The Official FLaming-Chickens Handbook already confirms that fact! A profound statement, if I ever heard one. Now, in today's society of buying groceries on-line and getting them delivered, why hasn't any other food industry marketed this ingenius idea to bring the product to the consumer. Perhaps a nice, soothing mistrust. Because that would be impossible. And now, back to our featured presentation. They aint whupped us yit, air they? this Jones who after the demon rode away with the regiment when the granddaughter was only eight years old would tell people that he was lookin after Majors place and niggers even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and perhaps in time came to believe the lie himself, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, Well, Kernel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they? who even worked, labored, sweat at the demons behest during that first furious period while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable willing the Sutpens Hundred which he remembered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hopeless-blind Jones who apparently saw still in that furious lecherous wreck the old fine figure of the man who once galloped on the black thoroughbred about that domain two boundaries of which the eye could not see from any point. She said she hurt it the first time, and wanted to put it out of it's misery, so she went back and ran over it 11 more times. (Actually I just question them untill they spontaneously combust, I ask lots of questions) So, in conclusion, ladies and gentleman of the jury(that's you) I could not have possibly tortured "Mr. Owl" to death. I love-d you moose! What is the alternative, you ask? WANNA SEE ME PULL A TAPEWORM OUTTA MY ****!! After complaining how hungry she was, and about the poor quality of the resteraunt, she walked out of the resteraunt, instructing the rest of us to "enjoy our meals". Sorry if I complained a lot. The last day, we were deciding where to eat. | 14.35 KB, We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. Seeya! So next semester I'll still have work, AP Lit, and AP Physics. After graduating with a BA in Fashion and Textile Design in 2013, Emma decided to combine her love of art with her passion for writing. WARNING: Leave food sit in an open, well-venilated spot for a week before eating. I'M FINE! In all those 911 shows, people wake up and their house is engulfed in flames. Anyway, I promise to go back to my usual routine the next time I rant here. I don't exactly know where it isoh, well. The vendors get oodles of cash, and the kids get ice cream. My groupwellwe either went hysterical or crazy, I can't decide which. Unless we spray-painted the snow purple, too. Some of the pages of this site contain a link encouging the two and a half people to e-mail the Patron Saint of Paper Clips. He snuck up on me one day in our room (in the game) with a sword! NOTHING! | 13.63 KB, JSON | Some are answers to e-mails, the rest are just stuff I wrote. If you don't understand the concept of numbers less than zero, (negative numbers) just skip this part. they liked landing on me. I WANT to write. The paradox of my system of beliefs leads me to believe that the universe, in fact, is not infinite. Somehow, I managed to make my furby die. we clapped. Pikachuwellhe didn't like me. Just goes to show what boredom can do to you. Apparantly my standards of weird have gone up. With an infinite universe, there are infinite possibilites. Oh. You can read a little each day. Is fat-free food more delicious than food loaded with fat? Just make sure you "spray" your food first. How discouraging. I'm a genius. That meant that my mother would be in the back, with me and my younger, eviler sister. Wheather you're saved or doomed, find out now! HEEEEY! The following is everything I wrote during that sugar-coated time period. My favorite stuffJTHMI have my libraries copy of JTHMI shall quote Noodle Boy for you:) (Full copyright/credit to Jonhnen Vasquez for writin' the stuff, I'm just sharing the spleeny goodness with you). But I can't help but think of stuff like the evil over lord list and REALLY REALLY BIG BUTTON THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. The World's Largest Maths Problem Has Been Solved, And It. MY SPINE IS SQUISHY! Then everyone would cut and scrape themselves to be covered in scabs. Typical. Subliminal messanging also explains the successes of certain fast-food resteraunts, and brand name items. It would be a sin against humanity for a better site to exist. This means that we only have a very short while to prepare. Ooooooo! Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. *blinks* And I STILL can't remember what else I was gonna say to you people. But I probably will eventually get around to having a seperate page just for the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Yeaha topic would be good. They may go to a resteraunt with an arcarde, or the movies or to a theme park. I previous time when I was studying with her (American Revolution, this time) I was trying to help her remember the difference between the Patriots(Patriotic to America) and the Loyalists (Loyal to Britain) She didn't know what the word patriotic meant. my dear theres nothing to fear thats only a box thats made of blocks next to the wagon that looks like a dragon why are you shaking its your fear that is making you shiver and act all a quiver. Longest Sentence. Does the commercial take that into account? Founder @ World's Best Story amplifier of creativity & fun! I'm back again! Now I have decided to go for a world record. My point is that smoke detectors have very little value in home security. I founded the secret message, you ok man? Thank the powers that be for spell-check. Define three functions: the first function to extract all the sentences, the second to determine the longest sentence, and the third to determine the average sentence length. They aint whupped us yit, air they? this Jones who after the demon rode away with the regiment when the granddaughter was only eight years old would tell people that he was lookin after Majors place and niggers even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and perhaps in time came to believe the lie himself, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, Well, Kernel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they? who even worked, labored, sweat at the demons behest during that first furious period while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable willing the Sutpens Hundred which he remembered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hopeless-blind Jones who apparently saw still in that furious lecherous wreck the old fine figure of the man who once galloped on the black thoroughbred about that domain two boundaries of which the eye could not see from any point. Every single person you know could just be figments of your imagination, you could even be in a crazy house! The movie ends with him in a coma. And lastly, you'd have to know where the heck this site is. You figure that one of those 100 people would actually have a coherent phrase. The magic eight-ball glows with knowledge! I'll rant and rave and ramble about the EVILS of sunlight. Or his mom did. All along, my entire family has scoffed (nifty word, isn't it?) The majority of readers would concur that it sometimes takes more than one reading to fully understand an extremely long sentence in a book. Similarly, it also displays the longest word used in the text. I'm leaving. You're great tradition is being carried out here, on the second most pointless site ever! The vendors even play whimsical music which I strongly suspect contains subliminal messages to make you hungry for ice cream. That made little sense. It'd be cool. Oh, and all those weird squiggly lines and symbols, those are supposed to be apostrophes, but neopet's code is weird, and I'm not gonna bother to edit it. So am I. But this proof degrades this mysterious, mystical and mystifying "quality" of my words. Wellprepare to be enlightened. No. I thought you were gonna stay here and keep me company?! There is a world where you are a slave to your TOASTER OVEN. (and redundancy!) Woooo! I SENSE YOUR ENVY OF MY NECK!! Or maybe you're just skimming. But true. You cannot deny the logic of my thinking! Each Friday, I wait (all tingly with anticipation) for the weekend so that I can stay up 'till the wee hours of the morning and sleep past noon. Or, at the very least, not label it as "pure". Did you know that I now possess a DOMAIN NAME? NO, wait. I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. Open Culture scours the web for the best educational media. But how, may I ask, can you find the end of the FREAKIN' universe? I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. THe cake was good. OkayI can do it. And absolutly NO air-pressure. My mom said that she didn't care. WowI really must be bored. I don't think. Not one of those bargain ones anyone can find at your local topic discount outlet store. At the same time, how can you prove something IS infinite? If you have something better to do, why wouldn't you be doing it right now? You mean that I'm just randomly responding regardless of your reactions? and eat dinner. To prevent this, I did nothing. Im gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! They couldn't stop laughing. Noone can do everything, so how can you expect a SIGN, with the I.Q. OkayI'm backI think that eventually half of this thing will consist of the word back over and over againthat's just weird. Meanwhile there is a vast conspiracy at school to keep me ignorant about my pawn roll in the other vast conpiracy by keeping me vastly bored. thank you always. It would hum, and hum, and humand then mercifully die. I would have sold the monkey and the organ and been able to eat for at least a year. My sister is a big believer in the memorization system. Yep that's right. Speaking of publishing, I do plan on somehow, someday publishing this as the first rambling narrative that makes no sense, and is about as interesting as rereading the almanac. People just don't realize that their almonds and mixed nuts may be having depression and other problems. It was sad. With our patented "spray".